Rob74
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Post by Rob74 on Aug 16, 2019 16:52:53 GMT
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the Kings chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queens bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queens large and magnificent breasts. The Queens itching was eventually relieved and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the Kings underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick.
The moral of the story - Pay your bloody bills !!
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 16, 2019 20:40:52 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 17, 2019 12:57:33 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 17, 2019 13:07:11 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 17, 2019 22:46:01 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 17, 2019 22:57:17 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 18, 2019 23:57:40 GMT
CORNISH GHOST STORY:
This story happened backalong on the A30 , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
John Bruce, a Falmouth University student, was on the side of the A30 hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong ee could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, ee saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door....
Only to realise there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, ee started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel.
John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him. Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of the Jamaica Inn appear down the road, so, gathering strength; ee jumped out of the car and ran to it.. Wet and out of breath, ee rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience ee had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized ee was crying... And wasn't drunk. Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John sobbing at the bar, one said to the other....
"Look meht, there's The bleddy wanker that got in the car while we were pushing it"..!!..
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 19, 2019 16:44:39 GMT
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Post by Postmodern Smoking on Aug 19, 2019 21:27:06 GMT
Hoping that DaveJ is having a smoother journey!
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DaveJ
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Wood Wizard of Oz
Locked down at home.
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Post by DaveJ on Aug 19, 2019 21:36:24 GMT
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charliehorse
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Post by charliehorse on Aug 21, 2019 21:18:03 GMT
Putin on The Ritz
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 22, 2019 17:13:58 GMT
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B Road Blaster
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Post by B Road Blaster on Aug 22, 2019 17:26:54 GMT
Sorry but i found this funny but then i do have a warped sense of humour
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 23, 2019 9:56:46 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Aug 26, 2019 15:30:08 GMT
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