Married Life

[enagee]

For those of you wondering what it's like to be married I just found out this morning that I'm on day 3 of an argument I didn't know I was having.

[keepitgoin]

Oh No You're Not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[qsplan]

and of course it's your fault...

[Ratfinkz]

Well how unobservant of you...maybe you should pay more attention...it can't possibly be anything she's done wrong...she's a woman!

[lobeydosser]

40 years ago I was out with the lads for a bit of a p*ss-up and the next thing I knew I was in the front of the church saying, "I do"!

I still canny figure out what happened.

Day 3????
Och you've a long way to go yet my lad!

[Deleted]

You have two choices, say sorry or go find another.

[Deleted]

I'd say sorry and make up

She is wonderful and you need her (even though you don't think you do )

[qsplan]

Many many years ago, Adam was hanging around in the Gardens of Eden... He wasn't in a good mood, he found a big rock, sat then and suddenly started to cry...

God heard him and went to find out what's wrong with him...

When Adam saw him, he said "Lord, I have a problem"
"What's the problem, Adam?" God replies.

A: "Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden, lovely food and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy and feel very lonely. "The sheep and I do not speak the same language.""
G: "Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a WOMAN for you"

A: "Forgive me, Lord, but what is a WOMAN?"
B: "This WOMAN will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you." Replies the heavenly voice.

A:"Sounds great to me." says Adam.
G: "She will be great, as is with all things I create, well except for the Platypus, but Adam.........."

A: "Yes Lord."
G: "This is going to cost you."

A: "How much will this WOMAN cost me Lord?" Adam replies.
G: "She'll cost you your right arm,..... your right leg,..... an eye and an ear,... and........... your left testicle."


Adam ponders this for some time. Then with a look of deep though and concern still etched on his face Adam says, "Ehhhh, what can I get for a rib?"

[Phoenix .]

Ask her if you have offended her, then apologize whether you are to blame or not, flowers and chocolates are always welcome after a misunderstanding.

[hazza1962]

Only another Ten Days to go then Mate!!! I've been Married Thirty Five Years in March and we used to fight like Cat and Dog ( I was the Dog by the way ) But since I started working away from home about Five Years ago we don't Fight as much!!! It's True what they say about absence and all that!!!

[chrisjw]

Absence certainly worked for me................I got divorced.........sorted..............



"Life...........is just a bowl of tricks!!!!!!"

[PinkyPuff]

Now,I don't know what is the problem,but she is wrong about one thing.Arghhh,don't know how to explane this.Very often when my husband do something that irritate me I will just sit in a huff expect him to know what he is done wrong.This will bottle up and then I will just explode in a few days.
Lesson learned and now I would say straight away what bothers me.You both should talk and agree to share how you feel about things no matter how small they are.This will make stronger your relationship,will sort things on time,instead of going in a huff for days and then have a big drama.You are partners,friends,lovers.Talk,always talk.
Hope I make any sense.

[gill2009]

We always hear "the rules”







From the female side..







Now here are the rules from the male side.







These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!







1. Men are NOT mind readers.







1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.







1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.







1. Crying is blackmail.







1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:



Subtle hints do not work!



Strong hints do not work!



Obvious hints do not work!



Just say it!



1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question..







1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.







1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.







1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us







1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one







1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.







1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..







1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.







1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.







Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.







1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.







1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.







1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.







1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really .







1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football, Hunting,Fishing







1. You have enough clothes.







1. You have too many shoes..







1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!







1. Thank you for reading this.







Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;



But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.








Personally...I don't believe a word - Gill 
























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[qsplan]

Extending what PinkyPuff said, always happens that someone did something (the one that was not on purpose) that annoys the other half... No one is a fortune teller, and sometimes you're not in mood to decode any signal, etc so it is hard to realise that your other half is mad/sad/pissed off (well, the last one you will see it in her/his eyes)...

So, it's better to mention it the time it happens... saves from lot of future problems...

If not, there it comes the moment that all of a sudden the other half says "Now you did that, 2 weeks ago you did this, 3 weeks ago you did that, a month ago you did those, blah blah blah"...

and most of the times, any incident of what happened now is nothing, or from a scale from 1 to 10 is 3, but because of all those unsolved/undiscussed issues it makes it seem like being 12...

[PinkyPuff]

I loved that gill2009