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Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey.
As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly... As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.'
Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.
Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?' 'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies. 'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?' 'Well, not exactly,' Mongrel says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow." She said, 'You must be mistaken... I'm not a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are...'
This morning as I was walking along the canal tow-path I heard a lot of splashing and a desperate cry for help.
I ran towards the sound, and there in the deepest lock was Boris Johnson. He was obviously struggling And with his clothes sodden it looked certain he would drown.
Now I'm no lover of the Tories or Boris, but I knew it was my duty to help the man despite the damage he & his party have done to our country. Reluctantly I did the right thing & contacted the emergency services.
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you