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A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Today’s word is fluctuations

I will never hear or see this word again without thinking of this joke…

I was at the bank standing in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me.

An Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.

It was obvious she was a little irritated…

She asked the teller, “Why it change?

Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen.

Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?”

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations”

And the Asian lady replied, “Fluc you white people too.”

Hya Sue

Could you have had a juice leak and the contacts need cleaning?

A man went into a Birmingham supermarket and tried to buy half a cauliflower. The very young greens-produce assistant told him that they sold only whole cauliflowers. The man persisted, and asked to see the manager, and the boy went to find him.
Walking into the stock room, the boy said to his manager, "Some w****r out there wants to buy half a cauliflower." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the customer standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people here who think on their feet. Where are you from, son?"
"Cardiff, sir," the boy replied.
"Why did you leave Cardiff ?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing there but prostitutes and rugby players."
"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Cardiff ."
"You're kidding?" replied the boy. "What position did she play?"