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Quiver and Shake

Complaints to Councils - Extracts from letters written by council tenants:
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1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
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2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
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3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
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4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
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5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
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6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
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7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
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8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
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9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
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10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
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11.The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
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12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny and not fit to drink.
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14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
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15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
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16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
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17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
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18. I am a single woman living in about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
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19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..
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20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
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21.This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
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22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

derv

Have a great day.

Jingle and Jangle

Youth