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Anne Summers has announced it's going to start selling a lager-flavoured gel that is 5.3% alcohol, for women to rub on their fannies, in a bid to encourage men to perform oral sex. Campaigners have condemned the move, because of fears that it will lead to 24-hour minge drinking
A little boy goes into his kitchen one day and says to his mum "Mum, Granny's got a prawn" "What on earth do you mean?" the mother says. The boy takes his mother and show her his granny, stark naked sleep on the sofa. He points to grandma's protruding clitoris and says " Look granny's got a prawn!" His mother whispers "That's your grandmothers clitoris son!" To which the little boy replies......."Well it tastes like a prawn!"
I ordered a sex-toy off the internet, a custom made scale replica of my ex-wife's vagina. On the day it was due to be delivered I sat anxiously at my window, waiting for my postman. After what felt like forever, he came struggling down my path with a big tatty box in his hands, all dented and the flaps torn, blowing around in the breeze. I thought they would've at least wrapped it.