Instinct

[Blownupdolly]

I have been in bed all night and all morning. I am soooooo not well today. OH passing on his germs Anyway, thats not what thread is about.
I just got up and switched the TV on. Loose Women were chatting about your initial instincts about people when you first meet them. So i will ask the question here. Are you often found to be wrong about people from your first feelings about them, or, have you got a very good inbuilt people meter?
I never like to pass judgement on anybody based on a first meeting, mainly because people can be nervous, have issues going on that might affect their mood that day etc etc, BUT, i do have that meter in my head. On the few occasions when my instincts have gone way off the scale in mistrusting someone i have rarely ever been wrong down the line, but i still have to give the benefit of the doubt to start with.

So, what about you? Do you make snap judgements or bide your time?

[smudge]

I think you're right about scale - I have met people and known immediately that it was fairly unlikely I'd get to like them as it were. I've also met people that I've maybe been a little unsure of at first, but gone on to be great pals.

I'd always try never to make snap judgments, but initial instincts are usually pretty reliable.

[Blownupdolly]

Yes agreed. Although i dont think it is fair to judge a person too quickly.
I wonder if womens instinct is sharper than mens in this department?

[matty198111]

I met my missus about 16 year ago and just knew I would spend my life with her

I then met her cousin ( female ) about 13 years ago and were best of friends, the missus is obviously close to her aswell but we have a very strong friendship.
Some people say that it can't work without something happening, but that's bull, she is more like a sister than my sister.
She is going through a hard time with her hubby ( he been putting it about ) and its always me she comes to for a shoulder or to just get away.

[matty198111]

But to answer your question ( sorry read it wrong )

I think I'm pretty good at judging people, and usually first time is enough
My bro in law is about 2 years behind lol, it's a running joke that he likes someone I don't
2 years down the line he realises I was right

But I'm also a bit of a loner, don't get me wrong I got mates a couple very close ones as in above post but I would be just as happy if me the missus and kids lived in the middle of no where

[mybad]

Jan 4, 2013 14:15:20 GMT Blownupdolly said:

Yes agreed. Although i dont think it is fair to judge a person too quickly.
I wonder if womens instinct is sharper than mens in this department?

I think women are to quick to jump in and tongue wag with each other and make assumptions, as a consequence they fall out quicker, where as men on the other hand tend to be more weary and take things slower in getting to know someone before making judgments,and a mans judgement about someone tends to be final , where as women can bitch and fall out with one-another one day and be friends again the next, strange creatures women are



Mybad Awaits the back lash,

[linzipinz]

i remember a friend of mine who i had known since school introducing me to a girl she worked with, i instantly did not like her she was loud, brash and not my cup of tea at all, when ever my friend mentioned she was bringing her to the pub with us i would make my excuses and not go to avoid being in her company.......

fast forward 15 years that loud, brash woman is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, we have been at each others side through child births, marriages, deaths and even lived together for a few months. I love her to bits and class her as my family.

I am happy to admit how wrong i was and certainly try to give people a chance now before i make any judgements.

[chrisjw]

I like to think I'm a good judge of character & my instincts about people have rarely been wrong. I don't know whether that's a good thing or not, but I don't have enemies to my knowledge, so it can't be all bad.

[Ratfinkz]

99% of the time my initial opinions are correct. However when I went to university the first night i met someone on my floor who terrified me, to the extent I could be starving but if he was in the kitchen even with other people around I would go nowhere near it. After the first term I became less scared, and that very same person and I have now been together for several years and due to marry in a few months.....I still take the piss out of him for scaring me so badly!!!

[comfrey]

I think everyone should "go with their gut". The only times I have been hurt is when I ignored what my senses were telling me and thought it was wrong to judge on a first meeting.

If you had a dog who growled at someone when they first met or wouldn't go up to them and hid, if the dog was normally friendly, you would wonder what was wrong with the person.

Well humans have the same ability but we are told from being little "not to be nasty" or "it's not nice to pass judgement" so we stop going with our animal instincts.
I'm not talking about the whole judging a book by its cover thing, because that's often wrong, but that feeling you get sometimes when you meet people.

I think its strange when a lot of people believe in love at first sight, but not hate or distrust at first sight. The same instincts are used for both.

[comfrey]

PS (I know I ramble) I'm talking about that inexplicable gut thing you get with some people. It doesn't happen every time you meet someone. Just when you have to be careful.
I'm sure everyone has felt it.

*ramble ramble*

[Mary]

I havent always over the years trusted my instincts but hopefully ive learned from that, and do now.

I agree with you comfrey about dogs, they sure do have better instincts than we do most of the time.

I would never be nasty to anybody but there are certain people I give a wide berth to, my dog though tells um as it is........back off or I will attack......perhaps we should be more them

[ChillerVapes]

After years of having bad judgement in friends, I have come to learn who I will like fairly quickly.
You get hurt, you learn.

[Rybes]

i suffer from paranoia and anxiety so i never like many people i meet in real life. i prefer meetin people on the net. its safer for me and i get to know in advance if im gunna like that person or not. saves a lot of undue worry

[farzooks]

"Oi knew 'e woz a wrong 'un as soon as Oi saw 'im."

"And he seemed such a nice young man, too."