Silk Wrap, here be a ramble bout last night

[ausfost]

With this glorious weather of late it’s been off to bed with windows open, no covers and forgive the image I am sure will pop into your mind, I always sleep Nekkid!

Well up the stairs I went last night around 2.30, read my book for around 45mins and must have dropped off into a wonderful deep sleep……….sometime later in my semi conscious felt a little tickle round the nether region, so as we men do, just gave it a little itch and dozed back off to find a little later the same sensation on my leg, chest and face.

Flick and a scratch and an itch, sorted. Dozing back off, 5.30am finds me sat up in bed wide eyed and fully alert, there is some thing, no wait some THINGS crawling on me! Slap, slap, brushing my self off like a man possessed, lights switched on, checking all the important bits are where they should be, I count at least 5 eight legged critters on very intimate terms with me 2 still on my person and 3 on the bed.

Have you ever walked through a spiders web? That feeling of long silky hairs on your face that just don’t seem to brush off no matter how hard you try, well I was covered in the stuff. On closer inspection, I think they were weaving me a silk willy warmer, bleeding web everywhere,

Well got rid of them, fired them out the window and politely told them they were no longer welcome and in no uncertain terms warned to never darken my doorstep again

So glad that the good lady wife was working last night, she would have lost the plot, I will definitely not mention this to her.

[chrisjw]

Nothing ever visits me in the still of the night & weaves me a silky willy warmer................

[Jen]

I would quite literally have had a heart attack if that was me!

[ausfost]

Jul 26, 2013 14:01:22 GMT Jen said:

I would quite literally have had a heart attack if that was me!

If my wife had not been at work i think the whole room would have had to be stripped, fumigated, redecorated, a new bed and linen purchased and all windows hermetically sealed there and then before she would go back in there

[violetblade]

Well after reading that I'm so glad I don't have a willy

[Jen]

Jul 26, 2013 14:15:11 GMT ausfost said:

Jul 26, 2013 14:01:22 GMT Jen said:

I would quite literally have had a heart attack if that was me!

If my wife had not been at work i think the whole room would have had to be stripped, fumigated, redecorated, a new bed and linen purchased and all windows hermetically sealed there and then before she would go back in there

Quite right too!

My hubby has imposed a zero-tolerance policy this year. Any of the eight-legged freaks comes in here, it gets flushed down the loo as an example to its mates.

[Blownupdolly]

I feel quite ill.

[ausfost]

Jul 26, 2013 14:20:30 GMT Blownupdolly said:

I feel quite ill.

i did ask forgiveness for the image of me sleeping nekkid

[chrisjw]

Jul 26, 2013 14:15:11 GMT ausfost said:

Jul 26, 2013 14:01:22 GMT Jen said:

I would quite literally have had a heart attack if that was me!

If my wife had not been at work i think the whole room would have had to be stripped, fumigated, redecorated, a new bed and linen purchased and all windows hermetically sealed there and then before she would go back in there

[/u][/b]
Makes me wish I was married, if only to plant some creepy crawlies in the bed & see if your theory works ausfost..............one way of getting the bed back........

[sleepyduck]

Jul 26, 2013 14:01:22 GMT Jen said:

I would quite literally have had a heart attack if that was me!

Same here. And if I recovered from the heart attack, I would never, ever sleep again...

[skyjay]

Jul 26, 2013 13:47:17 GMT ausfost said:

With this glorious weather of late it’s been off to bed with windows open, no covers and forgive the image I am sure will pop into your mind, I always sleep Nekkid!

Well up the stairs I went last night around 2.30, read my book for around 45mins and must have dropped off into a wonderful deep sleep……….sometime later in my semi conscious felt a little tickle round the nether region, so as we men do, just gave it a little itch and dozed back off to find a little later the same sensation on my leg, chest and face.

Flick and a scratch and an itch, sorted. Dozing back off, 5.30am finds me sat up in bed wide eyed and fully alert, there is some thing, no wait some THINGS crawling on me! Slap, slap, brushing my self off like a man possessed, lights switched on, checking all the important bits are where they should be, I count at least 5 eight legged critters on very intimate terms with me 2 still on my person and 3 on the bed.

Have you ever walked through a spiders web? That feeling of long silky hairs on your face that just don’t seem to brush off no matter how hard you try, well I was covered in the stuff. On closer inspection, I think they were weaving me a silk willy warmer, bleeding web everywhere,

Well got rid of them, fired them out the window and politely told them they were no longer welcome and in no uncertain terms warned to never darken my doorstep again

So glad that the good lady wife was working last night, she would have lost the plot, I will definitely not mention this to her.

Try conkers they dont like them.....http://www.thereaction.net/news/y2010/m10/spiders_versus_conkers_definitive_guide.aspx

[ausfost]

skyjay, now just picturing myself going to bed in a pair of pants made out of conkers

[skyjay]

Jul 26, 2013 16:01:05 GMT ausfost said:

skyjay, now just picturing myself going to bed in a pair of pants made out of conkers

I would pay good money 2 c that b a bit uncomfortable