I've heard it all now...

[Jen]

I do love Mrs Brown, but haven't obviously watched the whole lot yet! Must get on that...

[Deleted]

It's off topic, but still Mrs Brown. Grab a tissue for the laughter tears.

[chykensa]

I have an ex-teaching colleague who has a great disarmer. As JWs and Mormons are so distinctively dressed, he has a pile of cue cards on the hall table. When they ring the bell, he has a quick peek out of the side window, and if the callers are the aforementioned, he grabs his cue cards before answering the door.
Without giving them the chance to say a word, he launches into his spiel. Being a keen astronomer, with a telescope set up in his shed with a removable roof panel, he starts a potted history of the universe which lasts for about 2 minutes, complete with pictures on his cue cards and lots of scientific astronomer's gobbledygook. Once he's finished, he then asks "my apologies, what did you want?"
He gets answers ranging from 'thank you, but we must be going' to 'can we give you our version?'. Being an erudite man but with a slight speech impediment (which he can put on if he wants to!), he continues to bamboozle them until they give up in despair.
On one occasion (when I happened to be sat in his living room with a coffee), he got a response which played directly into his court, along the lines of "how very rude of you to try and impose your views on us like that!', to which he replied of course "and what were you about to do!?".
Bob then politely bids them good day and closes the door. Funny, but it's only the young ones who call these days . . .
Slightly more off-topic again, if he gets cold callers on the phone, and they ask for Mr. XXXXX, he says 'oh, I'll just go and get them', leaves the phone on the hall telephone table, and returns to whatever he was doing.
After about 20 minutes he goes and replaces the handset, and job done. Strangely though, he has returned to the phone a couple of times and the caller is patiently waiting, in conversation with a colleague on the other end.

[annie50]

I have one of those stickers on my door too, but mine also includes  - no preaching -  it has worked so far

Only had one person knock in about 2 years since it was put on and he was a window person.
 He asked I was the owner of the house. Well I am but I said it is rented and tapped on the sticker as I was saying that. He just went away.

The sun has faded it somewhat so must put it on my  * to do * list and make another.

[Raffles]

I haven't got a sign, but I'm so used to opening the door, and starting the conversation with... 'Don't waste your time etc...' BUT a few weeks ago I did the same to a gorgeous young lady, who politely left... but I still wonder now, what was she offering? ???

[dinamic22]

My daughter in law was so fed up of takeaway menu's being put through her letterbox that she put this notice on her door


Guess what it stopped them