Just one of those weeks

[leftfield]

My god, short of four horsemen and brimstone and fire raining down, this week couldn't get much worse!

Gather 'round for a tale of frustration and woe involving only one of seven days.

I couldn't sleep last night and not because I had to much nicotine or caffeine or chose to - it was because a cluster of numpties decided to have a shouting conference outside my flat until 4 in the morning. I really wanted to go out and assume the role of chairman and call a close to the obnoxious meeting of assembled hades spawn. Since I have to get up at half 5 in the morning to go to work, I was less than impressed to say the least.

So I grudgingly wake up after an hour of sleep with what feels like stapled open eyes that were so bloodshot I looked more stoned than a cheating arab wife and staggered around like I'd downed a pint of vodka in the name of valhalla from sheer exhaustion.

Every bin outside is packed. Really packed - two camels in a tiny car packed. Since it's glorious sunshine of course every single one of them is chock full of melted ice cream and beer which does nothing but seep all over my clothes and through the shop as I carry them all at once which equals around my own weight in rubbish. Of course now I have mop the entire floor and I'm way behind on my tasks before I even started doing anything useful. To top it off I look like I've participated in several adult films with the white mess all over my clothes and the stench of beer not really helping my image much.

So I clean everything I'm meant to with complete absent mindedness because my brain just ceases to function with a week of less than 4 hours of sleep a night. Right as I'm about to leave to a brief sunny waltz home to my bed, I'm passed a mobile phone and lo and behold, my manager is on the other end. They want me to do a 7 hour shift today ontop of my own and they harp on and on about how they know I'm so tired and how bad this week has been but they need me and only me to do this shift.

During this extra shift today, it's the exact same as the morning - overflowing bins with too much liquid in them that manage to leak through even double lined bags inside another bag. I have someone coming up to me complaining about some minscule piece of dirt they want me to clean off every 5 minutes while I have a huge list of miraculous feats I'm supposed to accomplish while it's near impossible to move with so many people in this one tiny shop.

One person asked me to clean the entire bathroom because there was one piece of toilet paper on the ground. They always do this - they paint a picture that makes it sound like some devil children have painted the bathroom walls with their own feces and it is so desperate for cleansing that I must immediately drop anything I'm doing to attend to it... only to find there's pretty much nothing wrong with it and they could have picked up the one piece of toilet paper and flushed it in 2 seconds instead of making me stand in a queue 15 minutes long to get into the bathroom with all of my cleaning gear in the first place.

Sods law plays silly beggar with my patience at the last minute as well. Right as I have my backpack on, right as I'm reaching for the phone to log off and call it a (hell of a) day I hear the omnimous "Janitor to aisle 8 please". I storm my way there, straining to not shove old women out of the way as they have the unnatural ability to block entire aisles on their own somehow to find, not just one bottle of red wine is broken, but an entire case of 8 of them. Red wine stains for one and it was everywhere. Everywhere. People had already trailed their bratty children through it, their trollies leaving black lines of unremoveable red wine stains through the shop, people stamping through it - broken glass and all as though it doesn't exist.

It took me an extra 20 minutes to get it mopped up and all of the broken glass put into a box and binned. In this time people rammed my wet floor signs with their trollies and didn't pick it up, kicked the box over several times and said nothing, bumped me, knocked my mop bucket and kicked broken glass under shelves and at less than innocent screaming babies and the like. Finally though, I got to go home.

I would have a day off tomorrow but of course, no one else is capable of covering anyone else's shift but me due to some anomalous dimension shift that renders everyone busy with inane social callings that don't out prioritise my sanity any time anyone decides not to turn up for their duty.

What a day and what a week. Someone have a good luck vape for me because apparantly I've done something that's pretty darn unlucky.

[Sandra (aka Chillax)]

Corr that is what is known as a hellofa bad day, hope things start to get better for you soon Lefty

If it helps at all, your post was very nicely written

[Jemima]

Sounds like a terrible day but due to your excellant writting and comparisons I enjoyed your terrible day (obviously a lot more than you sorry lol)

[OneDay]

It's storytelling like that which keeps cultures alive

[Queenie Bee]

Lefty call in sick you are obviously not appreciated and the absence of other staff and this weather well doesn't take a genius does it bad days are the worst

[leftfield]

I'm only doing an hour or two tomorrow so it looks all downhill from here because I'm off on monday whether they have cover or not > gurr

It's good to rant I guess.

Time for some lazy food and bacardi

Glad at least you guys enjoyed reading it so something decent came from it

[nicky]

You sit back and enjoy ya drink lefty, you deserve it.

[Deleted]

Enjoy your drink lefty mate , you so deserve it , that has to be one of the most eloquent rants I have ever read

Chin up mate

[Deleted]

#icon_rofl# #icon_rofl# #icon_rofl# #icon_rofl#

sorry for ya lefty but you did make it sound like something from a comedy

next time someone gets rowdy outside stick on radio 3 at full blast
go get yourself a nice drink because with this weather it'll happen all over again tonight

[womble]

I always try to be nice to people who do your job, from now on I'm going to be even extra nicerer. Because in the town I shop in, I reckon they need all the niceness they can get, considering all the jerks that live and shop there

Btw a rant always makes me feel better


ps brilliant writing, you are a natural

[leftfield]

I have a weird sense of humour. It's so dry and bitter like an old man's. I think it's called Scottish humour I reckon if you can't see some of the humour in silly things like this then it's going to snow you under before long. I didn't want to make an overly serious rant because I know there is far worse that could have happened. Over exaggerating a bit just kinda shows how annoying it was at the time to me but since I got home and wrote about it it seemed less dramatic than I let it be and it was a little funny.

It's been a lame week but it's not the end of the world - that's in december #icon_rofl#

[nicky]

Sometime ago hubby and i were in Tesco shopping and heard a load of commotion down one of the aisles, off we troop to see what was going on and there in the spirits and wine aisle was an odd bod and he was hurling bottles of wine, vodka, whisky....you name it and it was smashed on the floor. Security were all standing watching him and when i asked why they didn't grab him and stop him they said he came in and did it frequently because in their words he was "loopy"

He must have cost them thousands that night. i didn't envy the cleaners that night, especially since the cleaning manager was hubby's brother who was at home and called in to sort it out.

[Bluefish]

chin up matey, what doesn't break us makes us stronger and all that crap, lol. Ok gotta go off up round the lakes on the bike

[beautycat]

I'm sorry your day was so awful but must echo some of the other. Your writing is very dry comedy. Ever thought of writing short stories? Hoping today is much better ## don't worry I didn't spill it #icon_rofl#

[leftfield]

May 27, 2012 12:14:56 GMT beautycat said:

Ever thought of writing short stories?

Yup, I used to write poetry and short stories fairly regularly but I haven't in a few years now. It's ironic that one of my english teachers said I should give up on getting even any qualification in standard grade english. I didn't, and got the highest grade you could get

YEAH I have a day off tomorrow! Time to soak in some more bacardi