Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 3, 2018 10:24:59 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 4, 2018 0:31:50 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 4, 2018 10:34:48 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 4, 2018 20:35:26 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 5, 2018 22:04:47 GMT
WARNING ...RANT! For Those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your garden, can you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together? Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack. I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the weed, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat, all while trying to drive. It's just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.🎄merry christmas
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 6, 2018 12:52:22 GMT
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. Needless to say Santa wasn't in the best mood. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa went to the door expecting another problem. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree there just to cheer Santa up. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 6, 2018 12:53:59 GMT
Ahhhhh the wisdom of the ages. A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. To check it out, she went to the Wall, and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray, and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me Sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?
"Morris Feinberg," he replied
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall to pray?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."
"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."
"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man."
"And how do you feel Sir, after doing this for 60 years?"
"It's like talking to a f***ing brick wall."
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 6, 2018 20:56:58 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 8, 2018 14:43:49 GMT
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Postmodern Smoking
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Personal Mix Solver
( Dave )
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Post by Postmodern Smoking on Dec 9, 2018 0:50:08 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 10, 2018 18:33:10 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 11, 2018 14:04:56 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 12, 2018 17:18:01 GMT
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 14, 2018 15:36:24 GMT
YOU WILL LAUGH OUT LOUD!! AND THEN YOU WILL FORWARD TO EVERYONE WITH THAT BIG OLE' SMILE ON YOUR FACE!!
The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil.
Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'
When Susie didn't stir, little Jack who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.
The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'
But Susie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, little Jack came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.
'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.
And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'
Again, Jack came to the rescue.. This time Susie jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'
The Nun fainted
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Ron
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Post by Ron on Dec 14, 2018 15:43:12 GMT
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