The Jungle Priest

[Ron]

The Jungle Priest

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The Priest is pleased with the response.

They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both.

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

[Deleted]

Jul 3, 2013 13:56:13 GMT Ron said:

The Jungle Priest

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The Priest is pleased with the response.

They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both.

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

   ...........

[skyjay]

[hesta]

[Ron]

The Nun - brilliant





A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'

The nun replied, 'He went that way.'

After the MP's ran off, the soldier
crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough
Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Afghanistan .'

The nun said, 'I understand completely.'

The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'

The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Afghanistan either !!

[Ron]

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup
and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in.
The doctor asked,

"To what do you attribute your good health?"
The old timer said,
"I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good shape.
I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."

The doctor said,
"Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it.
How old was your dad when he died?"

The old timer said,
"Who said my dad's dead?"

The doctor said,
"You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive?

How old is he?"

The old timer said,
"He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning,

and that's why he's still alive ... he's a golfer."

The doctor said,
"Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it.

How about your dad's dad?
How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said,
"You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living!
How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 118 yrs old."
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said,
"I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"
The old timer said, "No...Grandpa couldn't go this morning
because he got married."
The Doctor said in amazement,
"Got married!!
Why would an 118-year-old guy want to get married?"

The old timer said,

"Who said he wanted to?"