Steps to fasttech success

[erik514]

I have discovered the secret of success with Fasttech.  
For many people the long wait for orders to be shipped, then the longer wait for items to actually get all the way from China is just too long.  This is especially true for sufferers of acute shinyitis.  For such poor souls these delays can lead to a myepack obsession that runs in tandem with the usual Fasttech addiction leading to the dreaded affliction that is "empty wallet syndrome".
Fellow sufferers I come bearing good news.  I offer a workaround for the dreaded weeks of checking tracking numbers and postie stalking.
I even include easy to follow instructions below.
step 1.  Open fasttech in your browser.
step 2. Select a shiny item and add it to your basket
step 3. This is an important step.  The success of the plan hinges on this step being carried out exactly. It goes like this.  Click checkout.  Under no circumstance ever click continue shopping.  Empty wallet syndrome and madness lie therein. 
Step 4. Close browser and do not return to fasttech at this point in time.

Now comes the clever part.  Wait 48 to 72 hours and repeat the cycle. If the cycle is repeated at regular intervals without gaps it will ensure a steady stream of vapemail and some relief for shinyitis sufferers.  While the vapemail might not always be what you want at that time it will none the less be vapemail and as many of us know, a vapemail day is always a good day.

You might be excused for thinking this is a very selfish, self serving plan and many spouses and partners might not completely understand at first.  Stay with the plan though and with some explanation they too will see it's really all for their benefit and for the good of the community.
If we all apply some effort in this the community benefits are huge.  
Firstly if you are a capitalist sort, you are encouraging free trade with China, or if you are of a more socialist viewpoint you are redistributing wealth to our Chinese comrades.  You choose.
Next we are encouraging the development of efficient international courier systems.  This is a good thing.  At this stage of discussion it can be pointed out that other items can also benefit from better courier infrastructure (shoes, bags, power tools, various shiny gadgets)
The employment opportunities for people who would like to be a postie will also dramatically improve.  The sheer volume of mail will create jobs in sorting offices nationwide.  
It's for world peace.  The extra trade worldwide will cause political and social barriers to collapse leading to a social utopia.

So you see, as well as providing relief for shinyitis, regular diligent purchasing from Fasttech is more than personal choice.  It is the duty and responsibility of us all as adults to buy as much knock off cheap vape gear as we can.  Your community and the world may depend on it.

[chris86]

Please, please go and post this on UKV......then sit back and watch the thread rapidly turn into 30 pages as the clone wars go nuclear!

[seniorphil]

That's the fasttech way, if you have enough orders in transit, every knock on the door is a pleasant surprise.

[Pepperty]

agh, buy ONE thing at a time?!?
Probably wouldnt work for me, I order 'bags of crap' all itty bitty oddments that cost a few dollars apiece. When I reach 30 dollars --- I buy!

[Pepperty]

Feb 7, 2014 17:59:41 GMT seniorphil said:

That's the fasttech way, if you have enough orders in transit, every knock on the door is a pleasant surprise.

It may work if you live alone..... if I get caught taking in endless parcels (of tatt) my fella - and teens will accuse me of psycho shopping and hold my paypal acount to ransom? 

As it is I stealth sneak in an order while their backs are turned and hide gear 

[erik514]

Feb 7, 2014 18:23:54 GMT Pepperty said:

Feb 7, 2014 17:59:41 GMT seniorphil said:

That's the fasttech way, if you have enough orders in transit, every knock on the door is a pleasant surprise.

It may work if you live alone..... if I get caught taking in endless parcels (of tatt) my fella - and teens will accuse me of psycho shopping and hold my paypal acount to ransom? 

As it is I stealth sneak in an order while their backs are turned and hide gear 

And this is why you need to explain to them the benefits to them and the community I outlined earlier.  Your daily fasttech purchasing really is for their own good.

[Pepperty]

you are SO right! if I can bottle the joy I feel (in receiving delivery of cheap chinese oddments) I could have happiness 52 weeks of the year!

[ionian]

I'm trying the once a month approach - I can add bits during a month, but only click on checkout on payday.
The only problem is those items that go out of stock quickly, or just come back into stock...

...which us pretty much everything I want.


This isn't going to work, is it icon_shoppingm

[boyofford]

Feb 7, 2014 18:31:33 GMT ionian said:

This isn't going to work, is it icon_shoppingm

Lol.

[seniorphil]

Feb 7, 2014 18:23:54 GMT Pepperty said:

Feb 7, 2014 17:59:41 GMT seniorphil said:

That's the fasttech way, if you have enough orders in transit, every knock on the door is a pleasant surprise.

It may work if you live alone..... if I get caught taking in endless parcels (of tatt) my fella - and teens will accuse me of psycho shopping and hold my paypal acount to ransom? 

As it is I stealth sneak in an order while their backs are turned and hide gear 

Just order some crap for them too, spread the joy.

[erik514]

Feb 7, 2014 18:30:21 GMT Pepperty said:

you are SO right! if I can bottle the joy I feel (in receiving delivery of cheap chinese oddments) I could have happiness 52 weeks of the year!

Just introduce them to the wonders of aliexpress.com and everyone wins.  A word of warning though.  That site can also lead to empty wallet syndrome and is especially hazardous for guitarists who suffer from a subspecies of shinyitis called GAS or Gear Aquisition Syndrome.  Symptoms are very similar, the parcels from postie are just larger.

[Pepperty]

does this mean I'm likely to become 'over friendly' with my postman? ... ???
only, he's already a lovely cheeky chappy and I dont want to frighten him if I lunge to cuddle the bloke just 'cos I can spot a fasttech label?

[chris86]

Feb 7, 2014 19:02:48 GMT Pepperty said:

does this mean I'm likely to become 'over friendly' with my postman? ... ???
only, he's already a lovely cheeky chappy and I dont want to frighten him if I lunge to cuddle the bloke just 'cos I can spot a fasttech label?

Isn't that one of the advantages of being a postman?  Mind you, he might feel a bit overwhemed if you get frantically excited when he slips his package into your eagerly outstretched hands. 

[Pepperty]

as it is, I'm rarely out of my night wear. Other day I was out early, and happened to call back home as he was delivering (11am ish) I pulled up in car and leapt out eagerly 'for his aforementioned package...' he exclaimed cheerfully "Oh! you're dressed!? I almost didn't recognise you with clothes on"  

[chris86]

Feb 7, 2014 19:19:25 GMT Pepperty said:

as it is, I'm rarely out of my night wear. Other day I was out early, and happened to call back home as he was delivering (11am ish) I pulled up in car and leapt out eagerly 'for his aforementioned package...' he exclaimed cheerfully "Oh! you're dressed!? I almost didn't recognise you with clothes on"   

That explains why he's so friendly......it's always good to have the postman on your side. Mine is a right miserable b%st*rd and regularly leaves the dreaded red cards without even knocking.  I've considered answering the door in a state of undress, but he'd probably just refuse to ever deliver anything to me again.

Anyway, it sounds like you're doing something right. Just make sure that you don't order an e-Huge, 'cos you might make him feel inadequate!