Recent Posts

One of the strange things about the Chinese, and consequently China, is that they are very future focussed. Partly due to having no welfare state 'safety net' - no job = no income - no pensions or NHS - healthcare is usually paid by insurance (if you can afford it, or are lucky enough to have a job that supplies it) and the only provisions for your old age are what you have managed to save, what you are still capable of earning (from shop work, street sweeping, recycling cardboard, plastic bottles and cans and collecting bricks from a collapsed building - and that's just the ladies ) and what your children and grandchildren can do to help support you.

Now, most parents will be paying to send their kid(s) to school (few free schools), from Kindergarten, primary, middle and high school, plus whatever further education they may attend (so tuition fees and maintenance - no grants or even student loans - that i'm aware of - thought there will be exceptions for the those seen as 'gifted') - as well as extra after school classes throughout, to give them the best chance to succeed at school (scoring high in the college entrance exam is the best chance of a successful future) and as adults in the work place - and of course helping support them until they get established in a profession too. So that may be seen as Quid pro quo.

Still, from an outsiders perspective, it seems to lead to an incredibly anxious society, where 'wasting time' when you could be earning money instead, and spending on yourself (like a memory foam mattress topper ) is seen as a selfish extravagance. I have a colleague who despite having a hard wooden office chair, couldn't or wouldn't buy herself a cushion to make it more comfortable - so i spent the equivalent of £2.50 on one - and she was both amazed i would 'waste' my money on such a thing and very grateful/guilty at the same time LoL

It also seems to leave the young in a dilemma when it comes to romance - if a girl is attracted to a boy, one of the first questions is either what is your income potential, how much savings do you have, do you own property/a car etc... Love - whilst valued - is a kinda of secondary consideration as you owe it to your parents, and their investment in you, to find a life partner who will also be able to help support them - especially with the single child policy - one grandchild between four grandparents - who might also need assistance in their old age!

The grandparent factor also being further complicated as many Chinese kids are either partially raised or fully raised by their grandparents - it is not unusual for both the parents from more rural or lower tier cities, to go to a larger city (Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen, Guangzhou being the most 'popular') whilst their child(children) are left to be raised by their grandparents. The parents see them once a year at Spring Festival/New Year for maybe 2 weeks - and then they go back to working in the big cities, 12 hours a day 5.5-6 days a week - at least until the child is old enough to maybe join them at Middle or High school age. So the grandchildren have a strong bond to their grandparents.

So marrying well, is as much about your birth family as it is about the new family you plan on creating - and being unmarried and/or without child - is often seen as very selfish, misguided and distinctly strange - this i can attest too!

Until very recently, children born outside of 'wedlock' couldn't be registered for a birth certificate healthcare, school places etc - so having a child within the system meant you had to get married! So very different from the UK!