Best ever retort..

[Skwoddy]

[apostle51]

Lol. Gotta facebook that one..

[Blownupdolly]

#icon_rofl# #icon__rofl# #icon_rofl#
That is a cracker!! One my dad would be proud of

[jayjay]

Haha.
Heard a story once, dunno if its true.
But basically a rolls Royce is about to reverse park into a space when an old mini nips in and steals the space. Young driver gets out of the mini, walks past the roller and says
" that's what you can do when your young".

Old guy driving the roller then immediately crashes into the mini several times pushing it out the way and back into the road.
Old guy then points at the now battered mini and says to the young student,
"And that's what you can do when you've got money"

[Skwoddy]

Lol J. Be nice would it not

[Ron]

SARCASM AT ITS BEST


A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.

The doctor says "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"

The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings. She's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."

The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your daughter is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."

The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be. She has never ever been with a man! Have you Debbie?"

Debbie says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man, I'm still a virgin!"

The doctor walked over to the window and just stood there staring out of it.

About 5 minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"

The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and 3 wise men came over the hill. And there's no way I'm going to miss it this time!!!!"

[skyjay]

#icon_rofl# #icon_rofl#

[Clutter]

Jill: "X is like the village bike!"
X's friend: "That makes you the office moped then!"

Y copped off with Jill's bloke. Jill put this message in the staff mag: "I'd like to thank Y for relieving me of an intolerable financial burden."

Sis & bro outlaw arguing. Sis won on points for "No you can't come to the maternity ward. Only the father is allowed!"

Girl to Sis in cloakroom: "Only tarts wear red [lipstick].
Sis offers lipstick to Girl: "Here, you can have it!"

[Clutter]

Jay, Yours is based on a scene from Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe. Two teenage girls beat middle aged woman into a parking space & say "This is what you can do when you're young."

Woman bashes teenager's car out of the space & says "This is what you can do when you carry plenty of insurance!"

[MadDan]

Dec 17, 2012 17:59:13 GMT Clutter said:

Jay, Yours is based on a scene from Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe. Two teenage girls beat middle aged woman into a parking space & say "This is what you can do when you're young."

Woman bashes teenager's car out of the space & says "This is what you can do when you carry plenty of insurance!"

Pre-dates that by a bit. I remember reading it in my dad's Reader's Digest in the 1970s - complete with Rolls Royce and Mini.

[Ron]

David Cameron and Nick Clegg are sat in a pub - there is only one other man in there and a dog laid by the fire. The other man in the pub walks out and about five minutes later another man walks in and lifts up the dogs tail. When the landlord asks the man what he was doing, he replied: "Well the bloke who just walked out said there was a dog in here with two assholes!"

[Ron]

NEW DRINKING WARNING JUST RELEASED: Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth... There you have it! ICE is flipping lethal. Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice, just drink it straight!! Forward this immediately. You could save a life!!! And don't forget wot it did to the flipping Titanic!!!