Put cancer in e-cigarettes, say non-smokers

[fagin]

Put cancer in e-cigarettes, say non-smokers
19-02-14

NON-SMOKERS would prefer electronic cigarettes to be fatal, it has emerged.

Smoking abstainers are calling for e-cigarettes to contain deadly and debilitating chemicals to allow them to continue feeling smug.

Non-smoker Tom Logan said: “My neighbour has a much better job than me and a far more attractive girlfriend, but as he’s a smoker I could always take comfort in the thought of him dying an agonising death.

“Recently however he started using e-cigarettes, so now he probably won’t have a leg amputated or get lung cancer.

“His clothes don’t stink, I never see him shivering out in the garden and if anything he’s smoking more.

“I definitely think they should put cancer in e-cigarettes. That or something worse, like bubonic plague or toxic waste that makes you turn into a monster.”

Office manager Donna Sheridan agreed: “Now that all my smoker mates are using supposedly harmless e-fags, I’ve had to start hanging around crack houses to feel better than others.

“But I keep getting my purse stolen and if you’re not interested in crack they really don’t have much else to talk about.”

Former smoker Stephen Malley said: “I don’t know what’s better about e-cigs – not getting cancer or annoying non-smokers by not getting cancer.

“I just hope there isn’t some dangerous side-effect that the manufacturers have kept secret. But I’m sure people who sell nicotine products would never do that.”

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/put-cancer-in-e-cigarettes-say-non-smokers-2014021983765

[Steve (VapeStorm)]

Obviously a wind up lol

[OneDay]

The Daily Mash is always spot-on with topical insights

[fred]

Feb 19, 2014 10:12:32 GMT Steve (VapeStorm) said:

Obviously a wind up lol

Its surely not a wind up?

C'mon - is the daily mash, not just the online version of the daily fail 

[johnners]

The Daily Mash.. one of our few remaining publications with true insight

[sammy13]

Wind up or not, it's certainly not funny, it's disgusting

[ionian]

Feb 19, 2014 18:01:19 GMT sammy13 said:

Wind up or not, it's certainly not funny, it's disgusting

www.thedailymash.co.uk

it's meant to be a spoof article sammy13 - have a read through some of their other articles. I really recommend the badger/sink hole one, had me laughing in the office earlier

[Deleted]

Love it. Lol

[sammy13]

I'm all up for a spoof, and god I laugh at the most inappropriate things believe me, ( is it huffingtonpost or something, I get linked to and laugh when really I shouldn't ) but I have recently ( within 2 weeks ) been told two of my best friends have lung cancer, one is having treatment and hoping, one will not be here in the summer, ( both non smokers ) so I'm sorry if my post seemed harsh but this weeks news hasn't been good , and this post seemed to make light light of it. Sorry, I'm not usually a bore. I can't delete it, but ignore me if I over reacted.

[ionian]

sammy13 - sorry to hear about your friends, such a horrible thing. It's very hard when something is so close to the bone, I completely understand.

[Gully]

Feb 19, 2014 19:58:31 GMT sammy13 said:

I'm all up for a spoof, and god I laugh at the most inappropriate things believe me, ( is it huffingtonpost or something, I get linked to and laugh when really I shouldn't ) but I have recently ( within 2 weeks ) been told two of my best friends have lung cancer, one is having treatment and hoping, one will not be here in the summer, ( both non smokers ) so I'm sorry if my post seemed harsh but this weeks news hasn't been good , and this post seemed to make light light of it. Sorry, I'm not usually a bore. I can't delete it, but ignore me if I over reacted.

I was going to reply how funny I thought the article was, until I read about your friends sammy, my thoughts and prayers go out to you all.

[fagin]

It's satire. It doesn't poke fun at the victims, but the idiots that make the rules.

[sammy13]

Feb 19, 2014 20:27:01 GMT fagin said:

It's satire. It doesn't poke fun at the victims, but the idiots that make the rules.

Perhaps when your nearest and dearest have only weeks to live from cancer you will find it so amusing. Others will not.