OLDER EMPLOYEE NOTICE!

[Ron]

Whoever put this together is really clever!









OLDER EMPLOYEE NOTICE!









Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.



This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).



Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).



Persons who have been RAPED andSHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).



A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Government deems appropriate.



Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).



Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Government.



Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.



Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MLA, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.



Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)



PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off

[Raffles]

If this wasn't so funny (and clever) it could be true... or is it ??? ... I have a personal interest!

[decoy]

hummmmm seems about right

[loobiebloo]

Oh thank goodness - all is explained!

[charliebrown]

That is pure brilliance

Can I borrow it? I have a few select friends at work who would appreciate 

[Phoenix .]

Yes it is very clever, but there underlies the truth, as the Government would have it.

[sammy13]

This is excellent, and verging on been so true.

[Raffles]

Unfortunately it is true, the Gov't want to get the youngsters into work, to save their own a**es, BUT so many of them are not up to it. It's the older generation, and I do mean OLDER, that are keeping most businesses' going.

Just seen a clip on local TV about auditions for a stage play, and one quote from an aspiring 'very young' auditionee was... "I don't want to be an actor, I just want to be on telly!" Says it all really.

[capnk]

What is an MLA?