A little Bit more humor.( un PC you have been warned)

[charon]

Just thought I would share these in order to cheer you all up after not winning the lottery.. 

[Deleted]

[halight]

[chykensa]

[scotsman]

Whats white and sleeps six people?.








A council van

[willy9b]

Sorry. Very bad taste. So, so sorry

[Ron]

Too funny not to share!



,
Did I read that right?
"TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW"


In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS





Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR


Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR


Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.


Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS


On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)


Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
Dyslexic maybe?

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really?


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!


Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Lazy so-and-so's!




Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to send this on.
We all need a good laugh at least once a day!

[Ron]

Ponderables



Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?



Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?



Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?



Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?



Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?



Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?



What is the speed of darkness?



Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?



If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?



Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?



Did you ever stop and wonder...



Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'



Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass.'



Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?



Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?



Why does your Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?



Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?



Stop singing and read on...



Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

[DiscoDes]

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


And also


If you locked your dog in the boot of your car he'd be happy to see you when you opened it, lock your Wife in the boot of the car and I bet she would not be happy when you opened it.

[ukipper]

[dagl]

"Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?"

What about Baa Baa Black Sheep?



Stop singing and read on...

[willy9b]

What do Winny the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common?
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
... Same middle name

(I'll get me coat)