I've been sent outside.

[wibble]

I'd sneak a few indoor vapes when she's not looking but in a different room !

[charon]

Mikey@Vaporized,

As has been mentioned, hormonal disturbance can cause some very odd demands on a relationship. (been there done that!!)
At this time of stress for both of you, your good lady may feel resentfull at your ability to cope better as you still have the bolster of nicotine. Be tolerant and love her all the more for she now needs you the father of the child to support both her and baby. It's natural for a mother to be protective and whilst it can materialise in so many different ways, be patient.

In respect of those who are antivaping, be tolerent with them as well, as the ignorant and uninformed will always be amongst us. So just remember..
Nils Illigitimas Carbarundem

Right, end of pious lecture, but I do so hope everything works out. life is too short to miss all the magic of a new life can bring into our existance.

[buggritt]

Either follow the above - or get a vamo and threaten her with it.

[CaptainChaos]

Same old story - yes we know it is better for us and for those around us, but people who know nothing will always just see the vapour & assume it is REAL DANGEROUS KILLER SMOKE ....

Hey ho

[dragon]

I'm a confirmed indoor vaper, but last year we had family visiting with a baby. I confess I felt "wrong" vaping near the baby. The father was also a vaper and had no problem vaping while holding the baby. I know that it's almost certainly fine, but there is something in us women that reacts to babies.

I vape around our older kids all the time, but show me a baby and I act weird .... I think it is hard wired

[halight]

If it's cold and wet outside could you have a stealth vape in the toilet ?
I have young children and I don't vapeing in front of them. If they are about I hide in the toilet or I go outside. They never knew about the stinkys as I always went in. The shed. And they don't need to know about the vapeing. Saying that iv not been told to stop having a vapeing in front of the telly on a night when the kids have gone to bed, I have been told off for a couple of juices that she dose not like the smell, so I don't use them around the house any more. .

I hope things are a bit better between the two of you this morning. Maybe try and have a chat with her later. And maybe just vapeing in one room out of the way of everybody else.

Children bring many new joys into a relationship, they also bring with them many arguments! And lots of stress and worry.

[halight]

If it's cold and wet outside could you have a stealth vape in the toilet ?

I have young children and I don't vapeing in front of them. If they are about I hide in the toilet or I go outside. They never knew about the stinkys as I always went in. The shed. And they don't need to know about the vapeing. Saying that iv not been told to stop having a vapeing in front of the telly on a night when the kids have gone to bed, I have been told off for a couple of juices that she dose not like the smell, so I don't use them around the house any more. .



I hope things are a bit better between the two of you this morning. Maybe try and have a chat with her later. And maybe just vapeing in one room out of the way of everybody else.



Children bring many new joys into a relationship, they also bring with them many arguments! And lots of stress and worry.

[halight]

Jun 2, 2014 7:18:33 GMT dragon said:

I'm a confirmed indoor vaper, but last year we had family visiting with a baby. I confess I felt "wrong" vaping near the baby. The father was also a vaper and had no problem vaping while holding the baby. I know that it's almost certainly fine, but there is something in us women that reacts to babies.

I vape around our older kids all the time, but show me a bay and I act weird .... I think it is hard wired

Come from.our need to protect little ones.

Not just in women but also most men. 

Children also like to copy the adults in there life at a young age. We don't really want to teach our young our habits. 


Also I do think it's good manners , to not vapeing around people in a close space who are not use to it. 
Year ago nearly everyone smoked or lived with someone who did. Everyone was use to smoke everywhere. It's not like that anymore. And had not been like it for quite a while. 
Now you have smokers and you have vapers to contend with. So I think we just need to respect others who don't . 

[Mrsmac]

Mikes, this is a difficult one. Although I cliche, hormones play a tremendous part in rationality. I know this because my newborn is now 5 months old! I quit cold turkey but after she was born saw a massive increase in cigarette consumption so as there were complications at birth and had to draw a line under cigarettes for the well being of my family.

When you go through giving birth a woman can become very protective over her newborn and herself, not wanting any possible object/person/thing to compromise their new family unit. This is natural. Hormones will be all over the place for a good while, the body can take up to a year to recover from the trauma of giving birth.

I have definitely lost it more than a few times during this time.

The key to communicating with a post partum woman is to listen, we will rant, scream and be highly unreasonable at times. Listen intently before stating your point of view. I say this because we will more than likely realise mid rant that we are being unreasonable! When rant is over state your case!

I think you have a made a good compromise, you vape in the kitchen out of the way, but I do think that if she does not want the bedroom to be used for vaping, that she has that right as well. Can you not vape in the bathroom instead of the bedroom? When she is calmer you need to sit her down and explain from your point of view how she is making you feel and that whiles she was able to quit cold turkey not every one come and hopefully come up with acceptable areas that you can vape in the home

[hijack]

I would put her initial reaction down to the stress of looking after a new-born, and all the added pressure that comes with it. But at the heart of it there may be a bit of resentment that has surface about your change to vaping and the fact you are coping well not smoking, or dare I say it, ''enjoining'' your new hobby.
Ordinarily this would have probably been ok, but at this time that she is adjusting to caring for a baby, it may be a while before she comes round to the idea.

Most non-smokers and smokers, see vaping as just another form of smoking. I have to admit that when I was smoking that was my view as well.
There has been some fairly positive reporting on the news, this last month and if it continues, and she see's it, then maybe her view will soften a bit.

For the time being around the house, and your baby, I would treat your vaping the same as if you were smoking. Its not like you wouldn't have to go outside anyway if you were still smoking.

You know yourself that what they have found so far about vaping would suggest its relatively safe. Until a definitive '' This is, in no way harmful to you'' is reported then maybe keeping it away from your baby would be the best thing to do.

[Super-Shiny]

Jun 2, 2014 7:18:33 GMT dragon said:

show me a baby and I act weird

[dragon]

Jun 2, 2014 8:38:40 GMT Super-Shiny said:

Jun 2, 2014 7:18:33 GMT dragon said:

show me a baby and I act weird

But show me a weird baby and I act normal

[Mikey@Vaporized]

Jun 2, 2014 7:28:14 GMT Mrsmac said:

Mikes, this is a difficult one. Although I cliche, hormones play a tremendous part in rationality. I know this because my newborn is now 5 months old! I quit cold turkey but after she was born saw a massive increase in cigarette consumption so as there were complications at birth and had to draw a line under cigarettes for the well being of my family.

When you go through giving birth a woman can become very protective over her newborn and herself, not wanting any possible object/person/thing to compromise their new family unit. This is natural. Hormones will be all over the place for a good while, the body can take up to a year to recover from the trauma of giving birth.

I have definitely lost it more than a few times during this time.

The key to communicating with a post partum woman is to listen, we will rant, scream and be highly unreasonable at times. Listen intently before stating your point of view. I say this because we will more than likely realise mid rant that we are being unreasonable! When rant is over state your case!

I think you have a made a good compromise, you vape in the kitchen out of the way, but I do think that if she does not want the bedroom to be used for vaping, that she has that right as well. Can you not vape in the bathroom instead of the bedroom? When she is calmer you need to sit her down and explain from your point of view how she is making you feel and that whiles she was able to quit cold turkey not every one come and hopefully come up with acceptable areas that you can vape in the home

Hey Trina, some good ideas and advice there. That's the thing - I dont vape around him. Only in the kitchen, never in the bedroom or living room. As it turns out, I woke this morning to find she obviously did realise she was being unreasonable; she had actually gone to research and find a case for passive vaping and all that she could turn up that seemed legit to her were several studies that show no effects on lung function and no contaminant exposure.
She has apologised and retracted the no vaping in the house rule, but would still prefer me not to do it around the wee man, which is totally fine by me. I never would have chosen that anyway, have always kept it away from him

[chrisjw]

Unfortunately, she sounds like a typical ex-smoker, particularly one who went cold turkey.......She's now anti anything to do with smoke, tobacco, nicotine etc, because she is still in withdrawal & will be for years to come.......she is now deprived of her pleasure & has decided that everyone else should be...........sorry if it sounds harsh, but that's my take on it.........& by the way, I don't think you've done anything wrong.....on the contrary, you've been very considerate...............................I presume divorce isn't an option.....

[Mikey@Vaporized]

Thanks to everybody for the kinds words and wishes. Can be hard dealing with these things. We men get left out of the whole feelings part of becoming a parent big time and I think the general manly ideal is you should "toughen up and get on with it".
Being a more sensitive kinda guy though, things like what happened yesterday can frustrate me and always most when I have to bottle it up. So thanks everyone for listening and offering advice. It seems that for the time being my vaping in the kitchen is in tact and I feel like I was fair in how I dealt with it and so feel guilt free and happy with the outcome. As I explained calmly to her last night she was all clued up about how "smoking did this and that", so if she was so interested in our general health and well being it could do her no harm to try and find out if there were any negative effects from me vaping.
It seems this surge of hormones often creates a delay between the between thinking out loud and actually making sense. I am trying so hard to be patient and kind all the time but the no vaping got me I must admit. Thanks again to those who read and/or commented!