Problems of the world solved

[Bobsbeer]

As I am lying around, pondering the problems of the world,



I realise that at my age I don't really give a rat's arse anymore.



If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.



A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.



A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 5 years, while



A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.



And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.





Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:



1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.



2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.



3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.



4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.



5. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.



6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?



7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.



8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the lamp post.



9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.



10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.



11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.



12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.



13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.



14. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.



15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.



16. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.



17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.



18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.

I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".



19.. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.



20.. HAVE I POSTED THIS MESSAGE BEFORE?

[chrisjw]

I have re-read this 6 times now.........I keep forgetting what the first 19 points were...........



"Life...........is just a bowl of tricks!!!!!!"

[igual]

[lairey]