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Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.

“There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he said.

“An ambulance just drove by.”

A few moments passed.

“Looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out.

“Matt’s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex.”

Mom and Dad shot up in bed. “How do you know that?” the startled father asked.

“Their kid is standing out on the balcony too,” his son replied.

An old Texas lady is visiting her granddaughter in New York City. One day she was supposed to meet her in a very lavish shopping center.

She was riding the elevator when a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, “Romance” by Ralph Lauren, $200 a bottle!”

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, “Chanel No. 5, $350 a bottle!”

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator.

Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and farts and says:

“Broccoli – 2 dollars a pound!”

The moral of the story: Don’t try to get snobby with older ladies – they’ve got more experience and smarts than you!

Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early every day.

One day they decide that after she leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is she to know?

The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.

The redhead is elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she hears noises coming from her bedroom. She quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!

Ever so gently, she closes the door and creeps out of her house.

The next day, the brunette and the redhead talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early also, she exclaims, “NO WAY! I almost got caught yesterday!”

It should also be remembered that they were the only country to imprison crooked bankers .....did it do us or the USA any good?