Annoying elderly neighbour

[chrisjw]

Nov 5, 2013 11:08:21 GMT stamina said:

After coming back from asda I decided to knock on her door, she answered and said that I was playing Irish music for 3 hours. She can not hear her television as she doesn't have hearing aids but she can hear music. After 20 minutes at her door the conversation became quite heated. I told her that I called 101 and she said she was going to call my housing association to get me evicted. I asked her to get her son to stay with her to see whether he could hear the music and she said that her son wouldn't stay with her which is sad really. I am going to speak to my housing association to discuss this matter because she still adamant (not Adam ant) its me playing so call music.
Mark - she doesn't have any radio so she told me
Karma - Will see what housing has to say and will look at local government website for Adult Support and Protection Unit. Great advice thank you.
Emmita - it might be a case of attention seeking. I just don't know really but maybe your right.
Chris - you crack me up great advice. Need to go back to Asda to buy some horlicks, wish you posted before I went.

As I was leaving her front step , she said to me can you do me a favour. I replied I shouldn't really but go on what is it. Can you post the Sunday paper in at Flo's, I said oh okay.

I have a sign on my head. LOSER - I can't win a argument with a elderly woman

What ever you do, don't be lulled into a false sense of security by these cunning OAP's....They work in gangs.....I have it on good authority that they're using innocent, gullible neighbours such as your good self, as drug mules to shift & distribute their "Philosan tonic powder" from flat to flat..........

[Deleted]

Your more likely to be right as a member of her family is a pharmacist. Not sure who though.

Sherlock ChrisJW always on the case.

[chrisjw]

Nov 5, 2013 11:37:22 GMT stamina said:

Your more likely to be right as a member of her family is a pharmacist. Not sure who though.

Sherlock ChrisJW always on the case.

There you go...proceed with caution..........We have an ongoing problem with a gang of them at our local Waitrose......They have this scam going, where a pair of them lie in wait for some unsuspecting person to stroll innocently down the pharmaceutical aisle & pounce.......one whacks you in the back of the legs with their trolley, which automatically causes the dead leg scenario & you go down like a bag of s**t.....while you're attempting to regain your composure, the accomplice slips a bottle of Philosan into your basket........You inadvertently pay for it & they mooch about outside waiting for you to exit.......then one distracts you by asking you where the "park & ride" bus stop is, while the other lifts the Philosan from your shopping bag.....it happens so fast, no-one, as yet, has been apprehended for said offences..............slippery buggers........

[Deleted]

Great read Chris. Lucky I only have to deal with one. I would hate to deal with a bunch of them. I might ask her can I go on the payroll, they might need someone young and agile.

Chris you should write a mystery novel.

[tmg]

They pull the same scam here with cod liver oil and extra strength poligrip...that way if you rumble them they can bite you and leg it!

[mybad]

You know what this is all about don't you ??? she wants to get you into her bed and get amours with her.

[Smokeybebe]

Nov 5, 2013 12:02:44 GMT chrisjw said:

Nov 5, 2013 11:37:22 GMT stamina said:

Your more likely to be right as a member of her family is a pharmacist. Not sure who though.

Sherlock ChrisJW always on the case.

There you go...proceed with caution..........We have an ongoing problem with a gang of them at our local Waitrose......They have this scam going, where a pair of them lie in wait for some unsuspecting person to stroll innocently down the pharmaceutical aisle & pounce.......one whacks you in the back of the legs with their trolley, which automatically causes the dead leg scenario & you go down like a bag of s**t.....while you're attempting to regain your composure, the accomplice slips a bottle of Philosan into your basket........You inadvertently pay for it & they mooch about outside waiting for you to exit.......then one distracts you by asking you where the "park & ride" bus stop is, while the other lifts the Philosan from your shopping bag.....it happens so fast, no-one, as yet, has been apprehended for said offences..............slippery buggers........

Hah! Thats nothing!

You should see them all loitering outside of the local newsagents, waiting for anyone whose bought Werthers Original. Think "hoodies", but its head-scarves and checked caps.

Its a finely-tuned sting. Headscarf 1 distracts you by asking you to help zip her trolley-bag up ("the rheumatism, love. Me fingers aint as nimble as they was") then as you bend down, Headscarf 2 rams your bum with a zimmer.

While your down, both Headscarves crowd you untill you pass out from the smell of liniment. Checked Cap then makes his move (slowly but hey...your out cold) and pilfers the Werthers Originals from your pocket.




Whats even scarier is that its even more out of control here, purely for their own entertainment they have clubbed together to buy a Nokia and are into Happy Slapping now!




Calling the police is futile. Once home, they discard the Headscarves and checked caps..."Oh no Officer, we dont wear those!! "




Ive had to give up Werthers. I just cant chance it.

[ausfost]

i had the same problem in the early hours this morning about 3am, the neighbour was constantly banging on the wall screaming for quiet, luckily i was up practicing on my bagpipes so it didn't really bother me

[chrisjw]

It's certainly of great concern Smokeybebe, that this unruly behaviour is fast becoming an epidemic of humungous proportions & begs the question...."Where will it all end?" & at what lengths are these geriatric grannies actually prepared to go to in order to satisfy this dangerous addiction of "Werther Sucking" & "Philosan Pilfering".......as if the country isn't in enough turmoil & upheavel, we now face the prospect of a Derby & Joan uprising of unprecedented size..........I blame Cameron myself & this matter needs to be taken in hand & swiftly nipped in the bud, before it escalates further..............it's a worrying world we live in.

[chrisjw]

Additionally, I feel obligated to bring to your attention, that the couple featured in one of the pictures you have posted (namely the two supposedly posing, innocently, for the camera phone), have been observed cruising certain porn sites, soliciting rather unsavoury snaps of themselves to the unsuspecting public ( or so my "friend" informs me.....(((cough!!!!))) )......is nothing safe from these rebelious bingo brawlers????.......stiff action is needed & by all accounts the photos I mention bear confirmation of the lack of stiff action that is being administered......shame on you oldies.

[Smokeybebe]

Nov 5, 2013 17:17:21 GMT chrisjw said:

Additionally, I feel obligated to bring to your attention, that the couple featured in one of the pictures you have posted (namely the two supposedly posing, innocently, for the camera phone), have been observed cruising certain porn sites, soliciting rather unsavoury snaps of themselves to the unsuspecting public ( or so my "friend" informs me.....(((cough!!!!))) )......is nothing safe from these rebelious bingo brawlers????.......stiff action is needed & by all accounts the photos I mention bear confirmation of the lack of stiff action that is being administered......shame on you oldies.

If I get any "stiff action" at that age, I wont be complaining

[Smokeybebe]

ahhh, this is them. bless

[chrisjw]

Nov 5, 2013 17:24:30 GMT Smokeybebe said:

Nov 5, 2013 17:17:21 GMT chrisjw said:

Additionally, I feel obligated to bring to your attention, that the couple featured in one of the pictures you have posted (namely the two supposedly posing, innocently, for the camera phone), have been observed cruising certain porn sites, soliciting rather unsavoury snaps of themselves to the unsuspecting public ( or so my "friend" informs me.....(((cough!!!!))) )......is nothing safe from these rebelious bingo brawlers????.......stiff action is needed & by all accounts the photos I mention bear confirmation of the lack of stiff action that is being administered......shame on you oldies.

If I get any "stiff action" at that age, I wont be complaining


Is this the couple chrisjw?

It's difficult to determine whether they are in actual fact the guilty parties Smokeybebe............the photos the mentioned couple featured in were both wearing rubber, zipped facial masks.......& most of them look identical naked & from the neck down.......a cunning ploy on their behalf I thought.........

[chrisjw]

Nov 5, 2013 17:26:51 GMT Smokeybebe said:

ahhh, this is them. bless

Do you see what I mean??????....that is blatant blasphemy of the British system, strolling about, nonchalantly, with bowler hats ( an English tradition by the way ) mockingly worn about the derriere vicinity.....scandalous!!!!!!!!!!!

[Smokeybebe]

Nov 5, 2013 17:30:04 GMT chrisjw said:

Nov 5, 2013 17:24:30 GMT Smokeybebe said:

If I get any "stiff action" at that age, I wont be complaining


Is this the couple chrisjw?

It's difficult to determine whether they are in actual fact the guilty parties Smokeybebe............the photos the mentioned couple featured in were both wearing rubber, zipped facial masks.......& most of them look identical naked & from the neck down.......a cunning ploy on their behalf I thought.........

Ahh, the old Gimp Mask ploy.

Not that I know what a Gimp Mask is.