Sooooo true...for animal lovers

[gill2009]

  

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY. The following was found posted very low down on a refrigerator door.



Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.



For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's back end. I cannot stress this enough.



Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:


TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:


(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

(1) eat less,

(2) don't ask for money all the time,

(3) are easier to train,

(4) normally come when called,

(5) never ask to drive the car,

(6) don't smoke or drink,

(7) don't want to wear your clothes,

(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,

(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and

(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children

[Roscopecotrain]

Love it gill2009

[spaniel]

[reddragon]

Brilliant, I need to print this out and put up in our house. Husband always tries to get hairs off the sofa if visitors come round, I don't

[Karma]

That's fab

[prr]

Cracking, my cat does the bathroom bit and the "race you down the stairs" bit.

She also knows which cupboard her food is in and when hungry she hooks her paw under the door and opens it a fraction so that it bangs shut again just to let me know. When she does this she adopts a very innocent "what, me" look.

[taz96]

gill2009 That's a must print out for all us animal lovers. Thanks for posting it.

[Chrissie]

All so true

[archiecat]

My cats never go anywhere they are not allowed!



Tried to post a pic and failed!


No, I have not been drinking!

Think it's failed again.

I'll get my coat

[sleedale]

That is just fabulous gill2009 must print and put it on the wall

Thank you

[chrisjw]

All so true.......................



"Life...........is just a bowl of tricks!!!!!!"

[Raffles]

I don't have any pets, but frequently cat/house sit for one of my sons, who has 3 (although I believe it's now 4). Never need an alarm clock, as I hear the pawing at the bedroom door in the morning, and then the damn lot take it in turns to trip me up on the stairs, while I'm still bleary eyed. He's going to come home one day to find that I've put them up for adoption.  

[clairea]

You have been in my house again haven't you? Keep telling you to stop trying to read the small print. jasper the youngest kitty says look I can reach one end of super king size bed to the other, I need more room,
They all say lets play new game instead of how many humans can fit in a mini let's see how many cats it takes to fill the hole bed if we lay width wise, no humans allowed,

Courage cat says the pork scratchings are hers and Mr t says the jam doughnuts are his along with any ice cream going.
He also says its dun watching you trying to catch the frog I deposited in the hall

Jasper says if you put mice in the bath they can't escape

[archiecat]

Think we should all take this more seriously!

[Phoenix .]

Loved it.