Truancy

[alvoram]

Apr 20, 2012 16:43:19 GMT @rosylea said:

Thanks for that Anne,only someone who has been there can understand why i am proud of her.Makes it worse as she has hit puberty ???

No problem Alvo,you have an opinon as we all have but i really am intersted in what you would do to punish your children if you had too.Sorry if that came across as flippant before but i was dashing off.As we cannot smack kids anymore(doesnt work on older kids anyway),cant keep them in too long etc,what are you left with?
And you are right,i am wise,lol

Mostly I'd stop them doing things they like, playing out, going to clubs (girl guides etc) Take there favourite toys off them... basically deprive them of any luxury or fun, particularly the things they enjoy the most, a little technique a friend taught me years ago, and it works. I have to stand by the decision once I've set the punishment, if I ever backed down, and gave in to them, let them out or have their stuff back early, it would be counter productive. But every child is different, different things work for different kids, you have to find what works for your own.

[Queenie Bee]

Apr 20, 2012 16:53:47 GMT @rosylea said:

Queenie,did you mean you had the support or you wish you had that support? As we all know,bullying of any kind will go on forever as a lot of the time we dont realise we are doing it,including me. ???

I ment wish

[Karma]

I think the point is that every child/young person is unique and what is the right thing to do with one will be the wrong thing to do with another.

All parents and grandparents will get it wrong from time to time. So long as you love them and treat them fairly and listen and look for the reasons they're behaving in a certain way, you won't go far wrong

[rosylea]

No offence Alvo but that is much easier to do when they are younger.Teenage years are a real worry with all the angst etc, My Dad aways used to say "enjoy them whilst they are on the hearth",i found out what he meant when they hit 12/14,lol.

Queenie,i dont know how old you are but years ago there was even less support than there is today as you were considered a mardarse and a grass so nobody dared to speak out or you got told to hit them back and problem would be solved.Dont know about you but if we took one on we had to take the family on.xx

[alvoram]

I know rosy, you are right, but hopefully having a healthy relationship with them, disciplining them whilst young, and guiding them to the best of my abilities, will mean I wont have to discipline them too much when they get older. If it doesn't work out like that, which is probably most likely, then I'll carry on disciplining them in whatever way I think is right at the time. For the record, if I thought they deserved it, and that it would teach them a lesson when they get older, I would not hesitate to give them a good slap, despite what the government may say, and despite what others may think. TBH though, I don't think it will work with mine when they get older, they're like me, would rather take a few seconds of pain, than days of misery being bored. #icon_rofl#

[Karma]

I do agree Alvo, if you teach children boundaries and respect at a young age it does pay off when they get older especialy if you show them and their feelings respect as well

[rosylea]

Lol Alvo,i am with you all the way with smacking.Shame the powers that be think we mean a beating,not a smack.I used to get a back hander if i was cheeky,it didnt damage me, my sisters, bro and i laugh about it and we all agree we deserved it,and probably still do now and again

[Queenie Bee]

Apr 20, 2012 17:16:18 GMT @rosylea said:

No offence Alvo but that is much easier to do when they are younger.Teenage years are a real worry with all the angst etc, My Dad aways used to say "enjoy them whilst they are on the hearth",i found out what he meant when they hit 12/14,lol.

Queenie,i dont know how old you are but years ago there was even less support than there is today as you were considered a mardarse and a grass so nobody dared to speak out or you got told to hit them back and problem would be solved.Dont know about you but if we took one on we had to take the family on.xx

I am 32 and yes I agree no support at all when I was a teenager nothing ever got sorted out and more often than not people who were bullied ended up moving school or just carried on being bullied i saw it happen many times.

[bel]

I have two children, now adults and both are a delight to be around, polite and respectful of others. I couldnt be more proud of them.

When it came to dicipline we never smacked, my father was very fond of using a leather belt and i dispise any kind of violence.

There are alot of things you can do to punish,

Taking there pocket money away
Making them do lines, this was a favourite of my Hubbys lol
No tv
No computers
Grounding
Extra chores
The best one was taking all my daughters make-up away that really got to her.

[bobd1628]

aahhhhh lines, I remember them (un) fondly

that's the weapon we are using in the constant battle against the Diciples of Apocalypse (our kids) at the minute, works a treat, not had any probs for months, well, nothing big anyway, the enemy forces have retreated into submission and peace reigns on

[rosylea]

Bel,i would never condone violence,what i mean is a smack when a child is behaving in a manner which is unaccepable.A smack is different to a hit which is different to a punch and so on,i know all the arguments for and against and my kids were only smacked a few times.Smacking doesnt really bother a 10yr old but a shock can stop a child touching a fire or pinching something.Hitting with a belt isnt a smack,its abuse and i do know how you feel,not from my parents i hasten to add. xx

[womble]

Flipping heck, if I found out any grandparents had condoned or helped a child of mine miss a lesson in school without me knowing, doesn't matter what lesson it was. I would be up the wall!

That's teaching the child that it's OK.

As someone else said, you bring up your grandchildren the way you want, that's my view only.

[alvoram]

I've probably come across as really strict here, but the truth of the matter is I'm blessed, at the moment my kids are really well behaved, and I rarely have to tell them off, never mind discipline them. I can't remember the last time they did anything really naughty, they can be a little cheeky now and then, and they get a verbal for that, often reluctant to go to bed, and again they soon move when I tell them to in a sterner voice, but nothing to write home about. I guess I've got it all to come yet

EDIT: I meant to put "compared to how I was"

[Anne (fuzzy)]

Apr 20, 2012 16:51:31 GMT bobd1628 said:

*sniggers*

Can't find Chrissie's wet fish, so ...

[Anne (fuzzy)]

How old are your kids Alvo?