The Humourous Thread

[ken]

The Patient Grandfather







A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson.

It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.

She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William . .. . the little bastard's name is Kevin."

[Scylla]

Another goody, Ken

scylla

[profbeard]

"Dad" says Johnny, "at school today we learned that one in 5 people is Chinese. There are five people in our family, and I'm not Chinese, so that leaves you, Mum, Elizabeth and Huay Ling... I think it's Elizabeth..."

[Lilac]

LOL prof

[Scylla]

Sounds like Johnny and Elizabeth have the same relationship as my brother and me

scylla

[Scylla]

Not humorous, but clever (you need 5 minutes to spare)

www.wimp.com/paintingwater/

scylla

[magicma]

That is absolutely fascinating Scyll Envy.... MM

[Scylla]

He probably can't draw or paint for toffee, Madam - but he's got a beady eye and a steady hand and it's a nifty idea

scylla

[Lilac]

That was lovely...fascinating to watch...thanks Scylla

[ken]

OH HELL!! ... Let's Offend Everybody!

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong .

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek ?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, ...'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins, ... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team ?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.

[Scylla]

Sept 30, 2010 17:54:55 GMT ken said:

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong .

It's always the "wordy" ones that make me PMSL

scylla

[beeper]

!!! Oh and always try to book your check-up with the Chinese dentist at 2.30

[ken]

Sept 30, 2010 19:57:59 GMT beeper said:

!!! Oh and always try to book your check-up with the Chinese dentist at 2.30

Good one Beeper lol

[Scylla]

My diction is so good I nearly missed that one

scylla

[ken]

A mans best friend. ???